Empowering Yourself Through a Support System (A Paranormal Romance Writer's Best Friend)

I recently heard a startling statistic …The rate of American’s suffering from Depression* is approximately 22% (for paranormal romance writers, the number skyrockets to close to 80%).  The numbers are staggering.  That means in an average person’s life one out of five of the people they know are living with chronic depression (unless they are a paranormal romance writer.  And in this case the Prozac is popped like breath mints).  

*If you believe you, or someone you love, is affected by this debilitating illness, I urge you to please seek help.  

What can we as people/paranormal romance writers do to lessen the effects of depression or lower the risk of becoming a statistic?  There are many answers, but I would like to present to you the idea of creating a strong support system.  What is a true support system?  It isn’t your co-workers or saying ‘hello’ to the baristas.  A true support system is a group of individuals you know you can depend on when you are in crisis (and vice versa).  These are people you can sit with for hours and never want to stuff your fingers in your ears… aka people you truly care about.

Having a strong support system is one of the most important things in a person’s life (and as a paranormal romance writer it is an absolute must).  But to have a support system it means one thing—you must put yourself out there, you must make an effort to be involved in your friends and families lives and they, in return, will become involved in yours. 

Now I am not suggesting you call your friend every day and get a full rundown of events (unless you and your friend have the desire especially if its about paranormal romance events), but calling or texting your friend to let them know you are thinking about them should be done regularly.  When you are invited to a function (I know it’s a pain) but it is important not only for your friends personal well-being, but your own as well to attend. 

It is important to interact and socialize.  Humans are social creatures.  If we restrict our social outlets by ostracizing ourselves, we slowly become more withdrawn, eventually pulling away almost completely from society—increasing the probabilities of becoming depressed or for suffering from worsening symptoms. 

Become your own best friend and advocate.  When you are feeling down, call a friend.  If you feel as if you don’t have a friend or support group, go out and meet someone new (here is where it is okay to use the internet if you like—but be safe).  Make an effort to connect.  If you are unsuccessful the first time, try again.  Building a support system doesn’t happen overnight, but unless you make yourself accessible you are destroying your ability to create a network.

Become proactive in your life.  Exercise with friends and family.   Become involved in social groups (and not just on the internet, or with groups only involved in paranormal romance).  If you like to hike, find a store that specializes in gear and ask if they know of a group that is looking for new members.  If you are a paranormal romance writer, become involved in a critique or reading group.

Put yourself out there and face your fears. 

You will become Empowered. 

***To my readers and other paranormal romance readers/writers, I want to thank you for supporting my blog.  I appreciate your kind words and comments.  If there is anything you would like to add (about this blog or any others) please feel free to leave a comment or email me directly.  I love feedback.   Please know you are always welcome here.

The Gift of Emotion in a Paranormal Romance Novel

In paranormal romance writing, we are given the opportunity to touch people’s lives in ways that are unimaginable to us. When people are hurting, our words, and our paranormal romance writings are there to hold their hands and pull them out of the dark times. When people are happy, our words are there to hold them high and let their feet stay off the ground for a moment longer.

This gift is all about the ability to insight an emotional response from our paranormal romance readers. It is the gift to start with nothing and then with the addition of a special combination of verbs, nouns, and adjectives we can transform our paranormal romance reader’s perception of reality.

There is nothing like watching someone reading your words and seeing a smile come to their face. Even though we may not know our paranormal romance readers, we don't know what is going on in their lives, or their trails or tribulations; we can be a friend and an ally.

Don't forget the power you have over emotion. I like to think of my paranormal romance writing as a light, but others out there certainly use their gift to incite hatred, judgments, and fear. As a reader, we must ask ourselves what message the writer is trying to give us. What is the feeling they want us to walk away their story with? Do you like it? Why or why not?

As a paranormal romance writer, remember the power of your words. You can create happiness, joy, and love, but you also have the power to open people's minds.  Use the chance you are given to the best of your abilities.

What a Paranormal Author Should Expect From A Literary Attorney

A few weeks ago, I had the opporunity to meet with Katherine Carmody Holliday Esq. of Carmody Holliday Legal Service about a contract I had received for my paranormal romance novel.  She gave me some wonderful insights and advice and after our meeting I asked her to write a letter explaining what paranormal romance authors should expect from a literary attorney.

I hope you find her letter helpful.  And remember, paranormal romance contracts are two way streets.  You must protect yourself, be educated about your options, and only sign after you have complete knowledge of what the fine print truly means.

 

(Shared with permission from Katherine Carmody Holliday)

CARMODY|HOLLIDAY L E G A L S E R V I C E S , P L L C 101 East Broadway · #503 · Missoula · Montana · 59802 PO Box 8124 · Missoula · Montana · 59807 tel 406.830.3327 · fax 406.830.3328 · katie@carmodyhollidaylaw.com 

[A paranormal romance] author may wonder why she needs an attorney when signing a publisher’s contract. Keep in mind that a contract is a legal document which means that each word has legal consequences. Typically, the publisher will present a contract that its attorney has drafted. The language of the proposed contract will likely favor the publisher.

[A paranormal romance] author should never feel pressure to sign the publisher’s contract as proposed. Contracts should be negotiated to ensure fairness.

[A paranormal romance] author’s attorney will review the contract, and make suggestions on how to change the contract so that it will fairly achieve the author’s goals and desired relationship with the publisher. A main goal of this contract review is to edit the contract in a way that allows the author to keep more rights to her work.

The attorney will provide the publisher with a copy of this edited contract, and the negotiation process will ensue. It is unlikely that the publisher will accept all proposed changes, and it is up to the author to decide which changes are necessary; a lawyer will help with that decision-making process. A publishing deal will occur if the publisher and the [paranormal romance] author can agree on the contractual terms. If the publisher demands terms that are unfair, then the [paranormal romance] author will likely want to walk away from the deal and not sign anything.
When meeting with an attorney, the [paranormal romance] author will want to come to the meeting with any items that the attorney will need to review a particular contract. Usually, these items include a copy of the publisher’s proposed contract and any emails that the [paranormal romance] author has had with the publisher relating to the contract and other aspects of the future relationship between [paranormal romance] author and publisher. Also, competing offers from other publishers for the Work can be helpful for the attorney to have, since that information may assist in the negotiation process.

Hiring an attorney, should make the contract negotiation process more comfortable, since, the [paranormal romance] author will have someone on her side answering questions, looking out for her interests, and handling the negotiation communications with the publisher. I hope this letter answers questions that people may have about using a literary attorney! Feel free to call me with questions.

Best regards,
Katie Holliday